Yesterday I went out and bought a 2005 Ford Mustang GT. :)  Ever since I was a kid I’ve wanted a fast, fun, sporty, muscly car, and now I’ve got one. It’s fully loaded with every freakin’ feature imaginable. It’s in perfect condition, and even though it’s a 2005, it only had 1300 miles on it. I got a fantastic deal on it… the exact price I wanted, the exact monthly cost I wanted, an even lower interest rate than I wanted, and it has EVERY feature, widget, gadget, tchotchke and gewgaw I ever wanted.

I am SO FREAKING HAPPY.

Best of all, it’s a manual transmission, which I did not know how to drive. :)  I had a friend pick me up from the lot, drive my car back to work, then teach me to drive it around in the parking lot at work until I was confident enough to be able to drive myself home.

Pictures of my car from the lot I bought it from!

In case you couldn’t tell from the title graphic, I shaved off my mohawk.

Everybody asks me why, so here’s a brief explanation: I went a couple days wearing a hat instead of putting my mohawk up, and I realized I was no longer the center of attention everywhere I went. The lack of that annoyed me, because I absolutely adored the attention.

The whole thing was an exercise in getting used to being the center of attention. Why? I used to be super shy, and that pretty much forced me to come out of my shell and be very open and friendly and outgoing and get used to managing high levels of attention wherever I went.

So once I wasn’t getting the level of attention I was used to, I realized I was getting far too vain, and that it was just becoming a cheap attention-getting trick. I absolutely loved having it, and never got tired of it in the ten plus months I had it. I was faster than ever at putting it back up and it being impressive, and if anything, I loved it MORE at the end than at the beginning.

But I decided I’d rather shave it off and look normal, and find other ways to be distinctive. Regardless of how much I enjoyed it.

I can be pretty fucking impulsive, and that was definitely one of those times. I sat down, thought about it for about two minutes, then walked into the bathroom and shaved it off without a second thought, with a smile on my face the whole time.

Nothing is sacred. Not even the things I love. If I think I can benefit from it, I’ll do it, no matter how much I feel like I’ll hate it. I trust my own judgment enough to violently contradict it and take seemingly ridiculous risks. It’s worked out pretty fucking well for me so far so I feel no reason to stop doing it. :)

I’d like to mention, on a totally wild tangent, that in this particular strain of thinking, I’ve met a girl that’s absolutely wonderful that’s completely redeemed my faith in womankind. Prior to meeting her, I was literally committing to give up on all relationships — male or female, just to cover all bases — for an entire year. Every girl I’d met since my divorce (and my whole life, upon further reflection) was completely batshit insane, and made me feel worse off than before simply for having met them.

Then I met this girl one night, on a completely ridiculous coincidence, and we fell ridiculously in love and I’m happier than I’ve ever been, even far, far before the soul-destroying divorce I’ve gone through. I never thought I’d love again, and I’d been ready on resigning myself to lonely, relationship-less life full of nothing and no one but me. But I met her, fell in love, realized what a relationship really could be and came alive. Life is great and it’s worth taking risks over.

Nothing is ever as bad as you think it is. If you learn nothing else from me, remember that and act accordingly. You’ll be surprised what happens.

Greetings out there in internet-land! How fare thee?

I have been a busy boy. I had one of my best friends come down from Iowa to visit me with three of his friends and over the course of six days I went to four house parties, two shows, went drunken miniature golfing while all the girls we were with were making out, tried Cristal (the champagne, not the meth), tried absinthe, went to a beer tasting party, went skinny dipping with two beautiful women and got chased by a police helicopter. A busy week indeed! Yes, I’m dead serious. :)

Since I got back I’ve been burning the midnight oil on Dungeon Runners and having the time of my life. Never before have I felt so thoroughly satisfied with what I’m doing… like I’m finally doing what I’m meant to be doing: Managing people.

I’ve basically been handed the artistic reins of this project and been given full freedom into what I get to put in it, how I art direct, who I hire, how I organize everything, how and where I spend money. And no one tells me how to do my job. Can you believe that they let someone that looks like ME do this?! :)

Dear god, I’ve never been happier. I’ve never felt like I’ve been in a better situation or a more perfect fit for my skills and natural inclinations. I love our game, the team’s amazing, the studio I’m at is incredible and they’re giving me everything I could have ever hoped for, other than the bottomless personal harem I’ve always clamored for. But that’s a minor quibble… and still in negotiation.

The whole job is such an amazing learning experience. I’m learning how to art direct, lead a project, hire people, manage people, budget, schedule, organize, document and learn how to manage my time effectively. And they’re letting me do it however the hell I want, as long as I get the job done.

Have you EVER heard of anything like this happening to someone? Being handed the keys to a project you’d love to work on and play, with a kick-ass team you can barely believe you’re a part of, at one of the industry’s largest and most respected companies, and hearing them say “Have fun!” ?!

God, I’m happy. I’m using this as a springboard to learn EVERYTHING I’ve always wanted.

I’ve always been totally fascinated by numbers, particularly with dollar signs attached to them. Learning how to set prices, negotiate, budget and allocate money is amazing because I get to see EVERYTHING. I know exactly how much my budget is and it’s up to me as to how it’s spent. I’ve never done it before, but I know enough about it to be able to learn fast and aim pretty well toward kicking ass at it.

Talent scouting is amazing, too. I’ve been poring over my contact lists to find people I know and have come to trust over the eight years I’ve been making game art. Looking at these people, knowing their character, and mixing and matching their talents with specific needs I have on the project are fantastic. Especially when I come across a friend that’s desperately in need of a job or his first big industry break, and I KNOW he’s perfect for the job, and that I need him just as much as he needs me, and it’s a perfect fit. I’m trying like hell to learn how best to make ideal matches of talent to task.

It’s EXCITING, man!! :)

And that’s just people I know! Scouring the internet finding people I DON’T know that I want to pay money to make art to my specifications is a whole different beast entirely. How will I know if they’re any good? How does the way they conduct themselves determine whether or not I want to hire them? If their skills aren’t a 100% match for what I want, can I look at what they do and make an intelligent assumption as to whether or not they’re art directable enough to get what I want out of them? If they’re not experienced, do I see specific and advantageous gaps in their experience that I can fill and direct?

Fascinating questions, all, no? This keeps me up at night, in the best possible way!

And when it comes to managing people, that’s a whole other skillset ENTIRELY! One that’s perhaps more fascinating to me than anything else I can possibly imagine. My biggest goal is to learn to harness their talents to create great works. I want to be able to, on a personal level, help these people find hidden reservoirs of talent, energy and pure creative drive inside them and inspire them to create better art than they EVER thought they were capable of.

And on a teamwide level, I want to be able to bring together people exactly like that, bearing their talents and focusing them like a laser on the project, to produce a huge catalogue of kick-ass art that wouldn’t have been possible without all of their energy and drive, and someone that knows how to take all that talent and turn it into one unified, whole, great vision, perfectly executed.

I love connecting with people and I have an absolutely boundless belief in the potential greatness of human beings. And I don’t think most people know what they’re capable of. I want to be the kind of leader that can unlock these hidden talents and powers in people and bring them to the surface, give them the self-confidence they deserve and help show them how these great works are just the BEGINNING of what they’re capable of.

I want to make teams of people just like these that create incredibly great games that are loved the world over by critics, fans and artists alike.

I want to be the guy that brings it all together and shows the world what really can be if you just look for it and try your best.

And I am, right now, in the perfect place to start learning how. And I am learning.

I love my job.

Sorry for the trouble! Comments now work again. Weird, random database corruption. No idea why, but… works now at least.

Here’s a selfish little “me me me!” post. I try to avoid those but I’m just so tickled. I just re-dyed my hair, and let it grow out a couple more inches – but not in that order. Here’s a quickie shot I took of me last night with my cel phone:

It’s gotten pretty tall, no?

Since I’m in a position where I actively screen, interview and hire artists now, I’ve been trekking across the net to find the best artists I can. Here’s a few artists I’ve really been enjoying:

Skottie Young - This guy has an amazing cartoony style. Love it.

Daryl Mandryk - Amazing action-filled fantasy and sci-fi paintings. Absolutely gorgeous work.

Guild Wars Factions - Arenanet team post - This is concept art from NCsoft’s latest expansion pack for their ridiculously successful Guild Wars. Keep scrolling all the way down. The quality of art here is phenomenal, and there’s SO MUCH of it!

I’ll post more as I find it. :)  This stuff is so much fun. Been spending the last couple weeks sorting out our art needs, writing documentation and style guides, mobilizing to hire contractors, getting ready to issue art tests, digging into my contacts, and basically wrapping my head completely around this game’s asset production. I’ve never felt so challenged or alive!

Haven’t been posting much because I’m having so much of a blast here. Been hanging out with friends I’d made eons ago online, trying new food, visiting places, and moving into my amazing kick-ass condo.

This is the nicest place I’ve ever lived. 1000 sq ft, 2 bed, 1 bath, 25ft vaulted ceilings with a skylight, a massive kitchen, a huge walk-in closet, and a patio with a view of miles and miles of beautiful rolling green hills. I’m so happy here. The movers just arrived and I’ve moved everything in now and it’s the coolest place I can imagine. Total bachelor pad!

Here are some pictures. I’m so proud, I gotta gush, like a new father:

Living room! The living room is huge and awesome. The bookshelf in the back corner is massive, and it connects to a really great-sized dining room.

Living room \ patio! This is a cool, lamely dramatic shot of the setting sun’s rays blasting into the living room. The kitchen is in the background.

Kitchen! This kitchen is amazing. Beautiful tile floor, tile countertops, more counter and cabinet space than I could EVER know what to do with, and all the appliances were included with the condo. It’s gorgeous, I love my kitchen.

The PATIO with the AMAZING view. My outdoor patio is huge, has an external closet storage area, and *THIS* view. Holy shit. I got this place on the sole basis of having such an amazing view. It faces west, too, so I get to see the sun set over this amazing vista every single night. Can you believe that? My god, I’m in love.

The bathroom! I love this bathroom. The countertops are gorgeous, there’s tons of room, and the shower is one of those cool hand-held shower massager things that you see in hotel rooms a lot. Love it.

Artsy patio shot of the view! I see this every night. Wow.

Another shot of The View. No Star Jones attached! This thing is gorgeous in the rain. All the varied clouds I get to see are amazing, too.

This is the best place on earth. I love the job, too. SO HAPPY. For the 4th, I got to see a fantastic fireworks show with friends during a severe lightning storm with the most INCREDIBLE lightning bolts I’ve ever seen or heard of. What an amazing night. Austin kicks ass. You should come visit.

Welp, my last day at Ready At Dawn was Friday, and I start my new job tomorrow.

I’m going to work for NCsoft Austin as an Art Production Manager.

It’s a MASSIVE step up career-wise from a mere artist, with a huge (and admittedly unearned ;) amount of responsibility over Dungeon Runners, their new free-to-play casual MMORPG. I’m unbelievably psyched. NCsoft is capitalizing on all my outsourcing experience to help build and manage a team of external contractors and help get the game out the door. I haven’t been this excited in a really long time.

I know art is my bread and butter and I do love it, but I’ve felt for a long time like I have a broader and more interesting skillset that I wasn’t in a position to use. And now not only is it being used, but it’s the primary focus of my job. :D I really couldn’t have found a better job for so perfectly aligning my biggest interests, ambitions and career goals with what they want me to do. As I said before, super SUPER happy.

Also great is the fact that Austin itself is a totally kick-ass city. I’m on cloud nine… everything now is so good, that none of it feels real yet. Good things just don’t happen to me, especially not in the last couple years. I’m afraid I’ll wake from this dream. :)

My last day at Ready At Dawn was last Friday, and Saturday morning I set out for Austin. 19 hours of travel over two days later, and I’m in Austin, waiting on the condo I picked out to open up so I can move in. I start my new job Wednesday. Exciting times! Announcement coming soon.

Just a quick post. I gave my notice this week at Ready At Dawn, and my last day there will be Friday, June 23rd.

Here’s the deal, really… I hate living in California. I love the company, love the team, and especially love RAD’s next project (which will totally fucking rule), but I’ve been really, really unhappy living in this place the entire time I’ve been here. I’m just not into the people, the culture, the cost of living, the weather… nothing. I’m really just not a California kind of guy.

I’ve had a very, very hard time of living here after living in a truly horrific apartment complex, the crunching on Daxter, marrying my fiancee \ best friend of six years during crunch, gaining thirty pounds, then two months later having her get fed up with my crunch and leave me for our best WOW guildmate during the week of beta, driving her to the airport that same day and shipping all of her stuff to Connecticut, trying to ship a game and sort out a divorce at the same time, losing thirty pounds, getting stuck on an expensive lease I can barely afford, and generally just trying to keep my head above water for a few seconds at a time. Considering the amount of stress I was under, I’m pretty amazed I didn’t just have a heart attack and fall over dead.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m proud of what I did on Daxter and I’d do it all over exactly the same way if I could, without hesitation. But frankly, once I realized that I had completely stopped caring if I woke up the next day or not, I realized it’d probably be for the best if I washed my hands of California, severed all my ties no matter how painful and got the fuck out. :)

I told the RAD founders about this a couple months ago before I had anything lined up, and they’ve been gentlemen about it. They’ve been totally understanding, they gave me as much time as I need to find something else, and said I’m welcome to stay on board if I change my mind. They’ve been completely thoughtful, understanding and accomodating about all this, and I respect them even more for it.

So it’s the best terms you can get, really. I’d still recommend Ready At Dawn as a place to work to anyone, in a second. Everyone there is a fucking badass that knows what they’re doing and is committed 110% to their craft, and I know their next game is going to be universally loved. I’ve got nothing but respect for the management there, and willingly followed them into hell to get Daxter done because I knew they were just as committed as everyone else to shipping it. And I’m damned proud of it. Just, fuck California. :)

So I’ve accepted a position at a company in Austin, Texas, and I’ll be starting there in two weeks. I’m INCREDIBLY excited about it, and I’ll announce who it is soon. The crazy part of the new job? I will no longer be a mere artist.

More to come soon!

Been busy this week. Lots of preparation for E3 and a bunch of other private life things. That feels funny for me to say considering how much of my private life I put right here on the site. But there are indeed private goings-on that I’m not ready to talk about… yet. All in good time.

Mainly I posted to say, hey, check out my new header. Still working on it and getting my basic site navigation down — and fixing that stupid “edit post” thing that gets appended to the end of every post I have — but that’s the direction it’s headed. And yes, that’s me and my mohawk.

So, E3 is this week. Should be fun. If you see me, flag me down and say hey!

Back soon.

And today, my end-of-project vacation begins. I’m going to have the ENTIRE month of April off of work. :) I’m going to be visiting family and friends in Florida, Texas and Oklahoma for part of it, and the rest of the time will be spent here in my apartment churning away at art for fun, selling my possessions, reading and working out. It’s going to be a grand old time, and I’m pleased as punch that it’s possible!

Best of all, though, is that I’ll finally be able to have the time to move ahead with my divorce. Based on how painful and expensive THAT is proving to be, I’d have to strongly advise against ever getting married. Ever. Enjoy what you and your significant other have, love each other, share each other’s joy, but for pete’s sake, don’t bring the fucking law into it.

I managed to ignore my family’s frantic pleas to marry her before we moved in together, and those continued for years. I’m glad I ignored them, because the emotional and financial pain would have been exponentially worse if I’d listened. I just got stupid over time and completely blew it.

Admittedly, I may be a little biased, but it’s still sound advice.

On a less bitter note, I’ll try and update my blog at least twice a week as thoughts enter my head. It’s been a busy week… I’ve shipped 20 or 30 more books and sold around 100 DVDs. And I haven’t even begun to sell off my larger possessions yet. Joy! Can’t wait to see how that goes.

Ah, the promise the next month brings is delicious and splendid. I’m sitting here on my couch literally laughing out loud, I’m so excited. Can’t wait to start seeing some bare walls in here!

More to come soon, I’m sure.