Thousands of ladybugs for mother’s day? Oh, Jon, you didn’t!
A more light-hearted post.
A few months ago I ran across a website where you can order all kinds of beneficial insects for your garden and have them shipped to your front door. My first thought was, “Man, what a great idea! It’s amazing how the power of technology and the Internet has brought us to a point that we can remotely fulfill practically every need imaginable.”
Then I looked more closely and saw that you can order them in batches of 70,000 or more, which is absolutely staggering. The fact that someone can order 70,000 of anything is pretty funny to me, especially if they’re alive.
And so my second thought was “What if I shipped 70,000 ladybugs to someone at random?”
The idea bobbed around in the back of my brain for a while. Every possible scenario of what someone would do with 70,000 ladybugs went through my head and I never stopped finding it hilarious. Every step of their thought process was a riot. “Hey, Jon sent me something!” then “Why’s the box buzzing?” then, when they open it, “AAUAUUGUGHHHH!!!”
However, I never acted on it, and the idea fell by the wayside.
Today at work I restored my old bookmarks to a new version of FireFox and saw the ladybug order page, and the idea was rekindled. Even better, I realized that Mother’s Day is this week. :)
The box of 70,000 seemed unnecessarily cruel for my mother, who’s a dear, sweet woman, so my sympathy got the best of me and I shipped her 2,500 live ladybugs instead. It’ll be arriving at her doorstep later this week.
I love that technology lends me the ability to create a problem in her life. :)
I’ll post more as it happens.
There are 1 Comments to "Thousands of ladybugs for mother’s day? Oh, Jon, you didn’t!"
Thank you Jon for the ladybugs. I recently received 70,000 ladybugs at my front door and wondered, “What does one do with 70k ladybugs?”
I figured I’d write list down a top ten list of good uses for these little buggers.
1. Ladybug frappe. Always quenches the thirst, however the legs get caught in your teeth.
2. Fried ladybugs on toast. Not that good since upon cooking they pop like pop corn.
3. Ladybug popcorn. Good crunchy and always a treat! Try topping them with your favorite bug juice. Scarab beetles juice is a great choice for the health conscious eater!
4. Ladybug bath, fill the tub they eat all the dirt right off your body. However 70k bugs poo a lot. Need to wipe poo from body afterwards. Leave you smelling fresh as a leafy vegetable.
5. Ladybug hair gel, squished ladybug centers are a great sticky gel. Now how do I separate the goo from the shell? Hum..
6. Chocolate covered ladybugs, great gift for the lady. Round and tasty she doesn’t even need to know they are ladybugs. Looks just like chocolate covered raisins with that crunchy surprise!
7. Ear wax removal system, it’s amazing how well they clean your ears, insert ladybug and wait 15 mins. Clean as a whistle. Now how do I get it out of my ear?
8. Christian Contraceptive. Cover body in ladybugs, you’ll get NUN. Abstinence is key to a healthy Christian lifestyle.
9. Ladybug toothpaste, Take a handful chew quickly as to kill them as fast as possible, scrub away! However you’ll need a tooth pick afterwards to get all those stubborn legs from in-between your teeth.
10. Gift to inlaws. Send them 70k ladybugs, It’ll be a surprise they’ll never forget!