Looking for a job sucks. So does the uprooted feeling of not knowing where you’re going, what’s going to happen or when they’ll happen. I’ve been applying for over a dozen jobs for weeks now and have only gotten five responses, four of them turning me down (three due to no positions being open) and one “We’re looking through applicants and will get back to you soon.” It’s weird trying to do things or commit to anything when there’s really no stability in your life, because you could end up moving to an entirely new state the following week. It’s bizarre, and uncomfortable. Particularly when there’s pressure on you to get the hell out.

I’ve been mentally preparing myself for months to move out and get a life started out on my own, and I’m just sitting here, ready and waiting for something to happen, but nothing is going anywhere. I feel like I’m moving backwards for all the progress I’m making. I’m doing everything I can to get a job, and investing so much time and effort and energy into it, and it’s like I’ve done nothing at all, except without the benefit of having had time to spend doing something else.

Sending off these job applications is like being stuck at the bottom of a deep well, vainly tossing rocks up towards the opening, hoping someone will notice and come get me out of here…